July 5th, 2011 I got on a plane. As an unsure thirteen years I considered my life over. I was filled with anxiety, fear, and a feeling of complete defeat. I knew I was to trust God... but I didn't even know if I knew Him at the time. I was insecure with my relationship with the Lord that year. Almost daily I wondered if I were to die, where would I go? It didn't help that I had to pack up my childhood into boxes, say goodbye to people i would never see again, and step on to double decker plane headed to a destination that terrified every bit of me. Luckily for me, God starting working in my heart much before that plane ride. What is so amazing to me is when i thought my life was ending, it was really beginning. So cliche to say, but as one of my favorite youtubers always says, "The secrets of life are hidden behind the word 'cliche'" Now by saying that my life was begining, it wasn't that my life before 2011 was less or unimportant. Some of the most amazing people I met there. I would never trade in those 13 years over seas for anything. My relationship with the Lord was the thing that began. Through the last two and half years God has used countless people, conversations, and circumstances to teach me that - Ignoring God is exhausting - You can never run too far from Him... and you also can't hide from him either.. - life get's crazy, and no you can't handle it.... you can't handle it without Him - You can't live in the past, savor the memories, but live in the present - Don't ever EVER take life for granted. This is my testimony in very very short form. I could go back farther to when i became a Christian at age 12, but really this is when it got real. I could also go in depth to the last two years that have shaped me into who I am. This is when my faith started to become authentic. And i'm never looking back. I turned the page to a new chapter. What is so exciting is that this is just the beginning of my story.... and I am ready to fall hard onto the ground if that's what it takes to remember to look up to Him.. I am ready to take my past and be real with friends. I am ready to share my story with people- to be empathetic. I have to take up my cross daily because with a past like mine, a sinful heart like mine, and a stubborn mind like mine, that is what it's going to take to keep my eyes only on Him.
My story doesn't stop here, but this is when it got real. Every month i see a difference in me. I know in just a month I will have so much to add to this story. That is what's so exciting about life with Christ... You are always adding stories. You are always learning. I love that I'm a work in progress.... Yes, it gets hard and a lot of the time you will have weeks that get painfully out of control, but you also will also have great weeks were i feel like i grow ten years in faith. What's funny is that usually those two kinds of weeks usually collide. My one way ticket changed everything. He finally got my attention. That is when I couldn't go back to my secure place. It wasn't that I couldn't have grown deeper in Christ there or here.. it's that literally moving to another country is what it took to get my attention.
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