Letter // 2014

Dear 2014,

Well. I'm not sure where to start. Our relationship has been a roller coaster of experiences, emotions, and events. And I'm not talking about the roller coaster at the fair - NO - more like The Screaming Eagle or "The Hulk". At 5 foot 3 inches I slipped in as "tall enough" for the ride. Only... no one really told me I was about to experience "big kid life". I didn't know i was tall enough yet...  I was more so ready for the Dumbo ride.. you know - you don't even need a seat belt cause it goes about 4 feet off the ground? As for you, 2014, well I didn't even know to put the bar down to keep me in.

Of course you did give me some really amazing memories. Henna tattoos, strolls on the beach, walking slack lines, cleaning pools with best friends, eating curly fries, canoeing, smoothies, U turns,  life guarding, late night talks, jumping fences, hiking, photographing, SO. MUCH. DANCING, bundt cakes, sunsets, new heels, knockerballs, baking cookies, writing letters, exploration, coffee dates, wind in the windy city, MS state game watching, moving friends, christmas shopping, and of course dressing up as a Who more than twice. You really did out do yourself with the spontaneous adventures. For that, I will always be thankful for. These were some of the best of my life.

But don't think that is all I will remember of you, friend. There was lots of crying on shoulders, death, funerals, close calls, lives endangered, lack of zeal, loss of words, sadness, anger, war, falling, danger, mistakes, painful news, horrible phone calls, distance, angst, yelling, bitter words, crying, and hurt. Nothing could have prepared me for the emotions I have felt for you. You hit me hard with thoughts and realties I never even knew. Darkness and sin in this world were unveiled to me in ways that knocked the breath out of me. I realized why there was both a seat belt and a bar to hold me in for the curves.

 You have changed me. For the better really. I came into this relationship with some high expectations and goals. I started our friendship on the beach, and I ended it on the beach. With sand between my toes on January 1st, 12:01 a.m, 2014, I was an anxious, naive, easily- scared, stressed, and tooooo orderly six teen year old. Now looking down at the waves from a balcony, with a glass of sparkling grape juice in hand, on January 1st, 12:01 a.m, 2015, I stand as an expressive, laughing, motivated, seven teen year old with not much together, but completely satisfied with that. 

I'm so sorry our last few months were more on the rough side of things. It's been twelve months my friend, and you have made me a better person, but I have to end this. I really can't feel more bitter sweet about our parting. I would be a fool to cling to you though. In all confidence I know this is the best thing I can do. I promise to remember you for the rest of my life, but I will not dwell on all the mistakes i made with you, and not live today. Thank you for everything.

With a bitter-sweet goodbye,
Your 5 foot 3 inches and slightly battered friend,
                      Emily

This letter was inspired by Claire H. She wrote a letter to 2014 as well. I found that idea, as a fantastic way to have closure with the year. She also wrote a letter to 2015. And I am still in process of writing one myself. It is slightly intimidating to write a letter to stranger, who I know I will experience so much with.